Steal This Script - April 1992

by John Dodge

Did you ever wonder how egg-laying bunnies, baskets of shredded green cellophane, and hypersweet, spongy yellow candy got all mixed up with Easter in the first place? My "find file" mind lurches from history to anthropology to biology searching for some natural link. I get the egg part. But rabbits?

April's "Steal This Script!" is devoted to Easter, which this year falls on Sunday the 19th. I know Passover runs from April 18th to the 24th, but from a strictly retail perspective, Easter seems to have the edge. What are the spec opportunities here? Florists, garden centers, candy shops, drug stores, grocery and convenience stores, department stores, kid's clothing, toys, photo shops. There may be others, but let's go with grocery stores. By selling everything from Auto parts to Zinc oxide, the large grocery chains are America's one-stop shop. And they buy radio big time.

Our Easter list: we'll need flowers, plants, candy, fancy baskets, fake grass, eggs, coloring kits, more candy, cute bonnets, film, greeting cards, stuffed bunnies, and finally...more candy. Did I leave anything out? We'll pick it up later -- they're open Sundays.

The Spot:

Perky cartoon track plus (SFX) "boing-boing-boing" under your station's best Daffy Duck impersonator, who sings:

"Here comes Peter Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail...." OK, so I'm not the Easter Bunny, but Grocery King wanted somebody dynamic...vivacious... (really spits here) ...stupendous to announce (tympani or snare roll) the Grocery King Easter Extravaganza.... Tah-Dah!! (cymbal crash) Got your shopping list? Great! Let's go!!! (SFX: that slide whistle you hear when cartoon characters take off...followed by "boing-boing-boing" up and under.) I know you're in a rush. That's why Grocery King has everything you could possibly need for Easter under one roof. Aisle after colorful aisle full of fancy Easter baskets and bonnets, coloring kits and supplies, fresh flowers, plush stuffed bunnies, film and photo albums, candy, candy, candy and don't forget-jumbo farm fresh eggs, a decorator's delight, only 39 cents a dozen! Eggs-actly what you've been looking for! Everything you need for Easter is on sale now during Grocery King's Easter Extravaganza! This is Peter Cottontail......not.....saying long live the King! Grocery King, your Easter shopping headquarters. Toodle-loo! (boing-boing-boing fade.....)

So now you've got the script -- bend it, mend it, leave it as is but don't leave it alone. Go cut this sucker, give it to your Sales Manager and watch the sparks fly. "Great spec! Big new account! Thanks!" Congratulations. They don't make money without you. In next month's "Steal This Script!" we'll do it again, only different.

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